Heart of Men: A Council of Brothers
a 6-month online + in person deep dive for men ready to step into belonging and brotherhood to find their fullest expression on this earth
“I can confidently say that this men's group has been one of the most transformative experiences of my life. Before joining, I felt like I didn't have many spaces where I could show up and be completely vulnerable…from the moment we opened our first council, I felt a sense of belonging that I had never experienced before.”
-Chris, Spring ‘23 Council
6 Months, 16 brothers. Online + In-Person.
The Next Council opens soon. Sign up to know when applications are live.
Here’s how we see it: there’s a version of you—open in your heart, grounded in your body, surrounded by your brothers, connected to your life-force, in service to your purpose—that only gets to flourish in the right circumstances. For most of us men, we’ve never gotten the opportunity to be in those circumstances. It makes a lot of sense that many of us feel a gap between who we are and who we know we could be.
In this circle, we’re giving you those very circumstances to flourish. We’re meeting those places in you that have never been met. We’re reflecting back to you the essence of how we really see you. We’re showing up for you like our own lives depend on it.
Yes, we’re doing “the work” to be ourselves amongst all the hurt, disappointment, and broken models. And “the work” has the possibility in this circle to feel like the most nourishing, resourcing, and uplifting part of our entire lives as we get free from all the sh** that isn’t us.
The best part (which you’ll see by the end of the 6 months and we’ll tell you the secret now): nothing that happens is because of Heart of Men. The beauty, belonging, and possibilities you will feel and experience in this space are coming from inside you. We’re simply providing the conditions for your torch to catch, and once it’s a warming fire, we fully expect you to carry it forward, in service to the world. (And we’ll be following you in delight as we learn from your gifts and life-given capacities).
“I came to this council a desperate man. My marriage was in trouble, after 25 years of striving for repair. I longed for an intimacy with my wife and kids that seemed elusive. Through the course of the council, I gained a new perspective on living that has brought renewal not only to my marriage and family relationships but also transformed all aspects of how I navigate life. With my heart open and tender, my wife feels like she is married to a new man…I have grown in a deep, life-changing way.”
Ken, Fall ‘23 Council
Together, we’re charting a new course for being men
Stay updated on when the 2024 Council opens
Council Structure
Over the course of 26 weeks, we’ll meet thirteen times as a full group, six times in our small group, and six times for guided breathwork. Each council will begin with a grounding in together and an opportunity for each man to express what is on his heart. And then, based on what’s alive in the circle and that week’s topic, we’ll use a combination of teachings, breakout groups, guided meditations, ritual, journaling, and body practices to spiral into deeper relationship with ourselves and each other. We’ll be following an arc of a journey through four distinct thresholds such that we end these 6 months walking in the world feeling assuredly and wholeheartedly ourselves.
We’re collectively creating a space of welcome, allowance, and celebration that so few of us have ever had as men. We are forging a bond and belief in each other that stretches far beyond “friendship.” It’s a commitment to one another’s lives.
How we’ll gather: Virtually
We will gather twice at a magnificent retreat space in a wild, mountain setting outside Asheville, NC for a long weekend. Once towards the beginning of the council. And once at the end. Upon completing this cohort, every brother will receive an annual invitation to the Heart of Men Gathering, where men and their families from all previous cohorts are welcome.
How we’ll gather: In-Person
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Danny, Small Business Owner, Spring ‘23 Council
“Man, I’ve been in therapy since 2011, and it hasn’t struck this kind of chord with me. This has been a life-altering event.”
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Ben, Farmer, Spring ‘23 Council
“This circle shifted things that were stagnant for as long as I can remember. The support and honesty of these men has been a huge part of me allowing myself to begin to relate to my sexuality, eroticism, animal side, fear and insecurity in a curious way. This is the first time in my life I have felt movement in any of these things. And now I can see very clearly how these will be dynamic parts of my life as long as I live.”
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Cory, Fiber Optic Installer, Spring ‘23 Council
“I find myself being more connected and present with my wife and kids days after our calls. The atmosphere of the space leaks into your every day life to a point others can sense it.”
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Benjamin, Meditation Leader, Fall' 23 Council
“There are a lot of men's circles out there, but there are not a lot of Heart of Men circles. The heart behind this circle is what distinguishes it -- the bonds formed, the laughs shared, the deep longings in each man that are honored.”
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Lature, Coach & Community Advocate, Spring ‘23 Council
“Being in a space where I feel I will be heard and received; supported and held; I am able to bring all of me to it. I am filled with gratitude for this space; compassion for my brothers; resonance within the collective. It shined a light on the darkest parts of me”
“I can promise: if you want this and if you fully show up for the process, you’ll leave this council with an unmistakable feeling of being more yourself and with a band of brothers who support you unconditionally for who you really are. From here, your life will begin take its perfect shape, and you’ll be able to live into what you’ve deeply been longing for.”
-Thomas, Lead Facilitator
Sign up to receive Heart of Men Guided Meditations
This is a space for a man stuck inside the limiting narratives we’ve been given about “being men.” For a man holding back his fullness to find belonging in a politically correct culture. For a man hearing that call of something greater beckoning. This is a space for a man in the pivotal threshold moments of his life—be that fatherhood, dissolving a partnership/marriage, making a big lifestyle/career change, or simply at a point of no longer being able to accept the life we’ve been offered as “normal.” This is a space for a man who knows what is possible in his life if he had this community of brothers at his side.
Who is this for?
Lead Facilitator: Thomas Doochin
I’m Thomas. I’ve been hungry to know the deeper layers of Life since I was a young child. I did the whole ambitious achievement thing for some time—graduating honors from a top university and helping found a social-impact startup I ran for 8 years before selling it (not for some big amount of money). Not really finding what I was looking for in that world, I then ran to the mountains for an extended chapter of solitude and time outside the day-to-day world in which I was raised. There was some good stuff here, and, it still wasn’t everything.
So now, I find myself somewhere in-between. Living on land with my family, growing food, tending our water, and also showing up to what the world needs from me and has to offer. Men’s work has been a staple of my last years. In all my many quests, it’s the modality where I feel most of who I really am present and awake.
Anything of meaning I can offer in this men’s space is only because I’m walking the very same path you’re walking. I’m not leading this space from a textbook nor a specific lineage. I’m showing up with a desire to serve each moment in its fullest and turning towards my own chest of treasured discoveries to guide the way. I certainly don’t have this “being a man” thing figured out—nor do I want to. I, myself, experience enormous amounts of healing, opening, and integration in the very spaces I lead.
“I didn’t know a space like this was possible, I figured the closest corollary would be an all-male book club of some sort, or perhaps a religiously-related small group. But neither of those has what is key to making the container work - which is Thomas Doochin. He has the gravity and openness to ‘hold the space’ which is a term I wasn’t familiar with before this group - but which is palpably real in practice. It's the art of facilitation, social cohesion, and therapeutic invitation to allow men to drop their guards and assumptions.”"
-David, Spring ‘23 Council
Sign up to stay updated on the next council and to receive access to Heart of Men Guided Meditations
“I would recommend this for the man who recognizes the value in embracing all of himself. This work celebrates the fullness of each man in the circle. Celebrating him as he is now and how he intends to be.”
-Jerrel, Fall ‘23 Council